Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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