its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize