I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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