he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
