i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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