what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
