once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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