you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
