ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
