Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
