Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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