i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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