You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
