My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
