Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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