i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
