I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
