While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
