thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
