ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
