I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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