i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.