About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
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Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.