Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Randomize
Follow @tfln