You're completely useless in the revolution.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog