I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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