He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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