so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
