how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
there is glitter all over my balls
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