but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
