He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
