Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
