thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
