I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
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And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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