I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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