I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
