Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
