no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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