Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
