pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
