I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
