idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
