Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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