Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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