Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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