I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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