if i can run in heels then i can drive
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
