woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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