I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
