why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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