Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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