She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
