I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I look better un-naked...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
