I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize