seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
