So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
