he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize