what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
