what if I'm pregnant?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia