Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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