the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard