We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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